"Dear Sir Tony,
"How are you po? It's ________________. I hope you still remember me. I was the college student whom you've ___________________________. It has forever changed my life.
"I now work at _________________, waiting for my break to become a full-grown journalist.
"I know that you may have already sensed that I' gonna contact you po. I think I need your wisdom the most now.
"I have always attempted and thought of contacting you, but at some point I would retract thinking that I would be wasting your time.
"It was helpful. I was able to tell him how I feel. It was liberating. That's the first time I've told someone how I feel.
"It was unrequited, though. But it's okay. I have moved on already.
"What bothering me now is my feelings for someone. Last _____, I met a new guy. He is someone who has followed me on social media since _____. Months later, he joined _________________ as a reporter.
"His name is _________________________. I liked him instantly. When I got interested in him, I made an effort to move o from the other guy. I made sure that my heart is vacant.
"Later on, he showed signs of interests. He was the first to show motives and jumped in. We watched a movie a month later and had plans of visiting the _______________.
"I intensified my efforts by giving him snacks (...). And later on we would go eat dinners together, with an effort not to be seen by our workmates. It worked that way.
"Until all of sudden things got a little bumpy. I dunno why he all pf a sudden rejected my invites, or worst he did not respond to them. There were lots of unreturned and even unread messages. I feel disrespected.
"But one time he went to ________________________ with his friends and he got me this _________________ as pasalubong. I appreciate it. But after that, back to unreturned messages. Sometimes he would turn down my invitation to eat dinner.
"At the time, I overthought and wrote him a lengthy message sent over __________. The message was an apology for my reaction, an explanation, a little bit of confrontation, an expression of outlook for our relationship, and a confession. I hinted that I'm already in love with him.
"He replied acknowledged the message immediately, but took time to reply. He also apologized, then said that hindi kami magkasabay, na nauuna ako, na he was torn between entertaining my efforts and closing himself so as to not give me 'false hope.' He also said that he was willing to give me and us a chance and thought that it could work. But he closed by saying that we can be friend and 'give it some time.'
"I remained hopeful and gave it sometime. I haven't replied to the message. But did something different. I picked him up at the airport after his coverage. I gave him a ___________ and told him that that's my non verbal reply. (He accepted it and later I found out he even took a photo of it.)
"We would again eat together, go out and see a movie. Until all of a sudden when we were chatting, he told me he still feels the same way. He said it will not work. I was hurt that after all my efforts it too him a simple chat to tell me that. This time I dunno what didn't work.
"But come work week, we ate dinners again. And even considered watching a movie together.
"I want to believe that we still have a chance. I remain hopeful. But I'm hurt by his insensitivity. But I still make sure that I'm there for him. Friends told me na mag pa miss ka, but it just won't work for me, I guess. I'm all out openness.
"Now I'm thinking of confronting him, or talk about what happened. And eventually, ask for another chance.
"Do you think this is wise sir?
"I honestly believe that we have a chance and that something is just bothering him, keeping him from entertaining me.
"I really like him. And through it all, I learned to love it. I just felt that I was not give a chance to express that or to en make ligaw.
"But then there are many messages I'm getting that made me think twice.
"First is this quote below:
"'Some people say that you spend your whole life fantasizing, although you would probably disagree, preferring to think that you believe in magic. The planets have moved into a configuration that encourages you to actually come to your senses in terms of one particular relationship that has taken up your time and attention for a while. You become aware of your partner's real motives, and may decide to call it a day.'
"It's my love horoscope for ________.
"I hope you can shed some light, sir. I also look forward to meeting you again.
"Salamat po nang marami.
"Sincerely,
"________________"
My reply:
Hi ________________!
The key to understanding what you are going through is to look at yourself during the time when you were on ____: you had many hang-ups, you hid behind the fake shield of religion, and you were hounded by guilt over almost everything. Perhaps that is what your friend is going through right now. It all boils down to waiting for something to arrive: not the ability to love, but personal maturity.
On a wider scope, your situation will eventually become a toss-up between career and romance. In this country and at this time, despite everything that everyone says about gay liberation and human rights, a journalist who suddenly becomes exposed as a homosexual is shunned not only by the public but by his institution, and that is the real disrespect you fear. In order to be accepted for having such a gender in this career, one must be out of the closet even before applying for a journalist's job, and one must be bright and bubbly, weird, and funny, all of which you are not. You will only find yourself being very quickly reassigned to the fashion and lifestyle, home and cooking, education, and art and culture sections.
I psychically scanned your friend's photo and saw that he has more hang-ups than you do. He is unable to accept his sexual orientation. He weeps more profusely into his pillow at night. He sees only himself and how everything can be engineered to his advantage. He feels that many people desire him. It is dangerous to engage in a serious relationship with a person this unsure of himself, because, if something eventually goes wrong, he will say that it was all your fault.
Also, I might note that, in all this, you have been thinking and behaving like a high school girl. These little dates and gifts and pondering and ruminating just don't look right in a friendship between two men, no matter what their sexual preferences are. Something is off and unmanly and apparently in the wrong direction, unless you like envisioning the both of you as two little old maids in the future. Remember this, that any righteous man stands silent and strong.
My advice is to live your life with the presumption that you are living it alone, work hard, and wait for love to come, if it does come at all. One does not hunt or search for love the way a reporter searches for hot news. Love either comes or does not come, and that is about the long and the short of it.
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