Your e-mail message:

"_____, yesterday, my wife wanted us to drive her to work and pick her up after so we can go to a ______________.

"Sabi ko sa weekend na lang.

"Sabi niya mag-check in na lang kami ng anak ko sa __________ o ________ para hindi na ako magmaneho pauwi at pabalik.  Binanggit niya kung magkano ang rates pareho TO THE LAST CENTAVO, and at these particular motels.  And the way she was saying it, she's familiar of how much it really costs.

"Manong, is she seeing, has been seeing someone else?

"When she was ______ at this ________ during the early part of the year, work ends at _ in the afternoon.

"Nakakauwi siya ____ na ng gabi,  Isang oras lang o mahigit ng kaunti ang biyahe.  Pinabayaan ko ng ilang linggo.  Nung pinansin ko na, umuwi ng maaga ng kaunti, alas ____.  And these times are fairly consistent.

"Mukhang binibilang talaga ang oras.

"  Patapos na ho ba ang pamilya namin?

"Araw-araw na lang ang pagtatalo at pagbibintang.  Pagod na po ako samantalang lalo naman siyang lumalakas sa galit niya."

My reply:

Hello _______,

Your wife is not necessarily unfaithful to you. Some of the possibilities are that she engages in a small-time business to make more money, that she is simply hanging out with friends, or that she is having sessions with a psychological counselor. Those are just examples, do not take me literally. I'm simply illustrating how suspicion without facts can make your mind paranoid. What is to prevent her, after all, from telling you that she is having an affair? And what is to prevent her from plainly telling you to just leave and go elsewhere or back to the Philippines?

If she is being unfaithful behind your back, however, remember that you did that first, and that you may be getting what you deserve.

In your present situation, your wife is the breadwinner and practically the head of the family. A person in that position usually takes liberties in doing things without having to inform others. It is also normal for a person who is gainfully employed and who manages trips, whether long or short, to know hotel and motel rates, and other things, such as transportation costs and other incidental expenses. It is all part of planning.

If she no longer wants you, would she bother to plan such an outing with you?

You should KNOW whether she still loves you or not; you should be able to tell without denial. The question is, do YOU still love her? If so, what positive things are you doing about it on your own, both for her and for yourself?