Your e-mail message:

"Hello sir...  For these past few weeks ,I have been bothered sir by my ideas and thoughts. It had bothered me a lot. These thoughts came with a classmate in one of my class. He has this attitude of talking shot about you but still he could manipulate you in a way that he can make you think that he is just jesting around. But still he appears to have many friends around him and he looks happy, I do think that maybe I am just unconciously being jealous. Unconciously copying him . I cannot think of why would I do that maybe because has friends around him or maybe because u am just jealous. 

"Sir sorry if this may look petty but it feels like I have looked at the abyss and the abyss had stared at me . In my fight against the monster it seems that I have become one. My passion for reading and writing may have waned a bit because of this and it scares me a lot because I do love those things that they had been a part of me. A part of my identity or helped me have one."

My reply:

Hello ___________!

This particular problem is rooted in the fact that there is an apparent disconnect between your self-image and your social image. You created your self-image from childhood, endowing it with ideal traits, talents, accomplishments, and abilities, both physical and psychological. As a psychic I can even see him: a dashing man whom you fantasize sometimes as a movie star and sometimes as a star athlete.

When people encounter you in the real world, they respond not to your self-image but to your social image, i.e., how they really see you through their own eyes. It is possible that you do not like what they see, and that what they see angers you.

You have to come to terms with reality and look at your reflection in the mirror that other people hold up to you. You do not even have to give up your fictional self-image as long as you can always tell the difference between what is real and what is not. As a matter of fact, you could try making your fantasy self a protagonist in a novel, and I know that it will serve as a kind of catharsis for you.