R.:

Thank you for sending me your photo. My reading follows:

Your innate sadness is rooted in the fact that, when you were young, you were treated like a cute, even precocious, kid, but, from the age of 13 onward, you suddenly lost that appeal. Know that such a time in the past can never be recaptured, and that you will have to cope in life not with a memory of what you were but with the reality of what you are now and what you can be.

I see from your photo that you were extremely close to females in your childhood--your mother and a sister or more than one sister. You still love them very much, and they provided you with a composite image of what your ideal woman is. I want you to realize that this is why you have compulsive fantasies of rape and violent sex: you subconsciously provide yourself with images of women as mere sex objects and playthings because you wish to believe that there are NO OTHER women in this world who will quite measure up to your mother and sister/s.

It is wonderful that the suggested activity I gave you works for you and gives you fulfillment. Keep on doing it even if you are not the best at it. No one is truly the best at anything, after all, and it is what an activity gives you, rather than what you can give it, that matters most.

I was able to see other things, of course, such as that you are a loyal friend to your peers, that you do not take kindly to betrayals, that you need to manage your anger, and that the dark side of magic fascinates you. However, I do not want this message to read as though I had a Tarot spread in front of me.

I focused on the most urgent thing that you consulted me about.

I wish you well.