All too often a person in need of help suddenly calls or text-messages me and says that he/she urgently needs to see me, and immediately. My standard and consistent reply is that I am not available. They all remind me of the social calls of P., who always drops by spontaneously but whom I never let in. Or antique dealers who come without previous appointments.

My house is not a psychic ER. If you want to consult me personally, it will have to be within certain parameters--MY parameters. Otherwise I perceive your impulse as a lack of self-discipline, and what that means to me is that you cannot be helped to help yourself and that I shouldn't even try to.